Emotional Resilience in Late January: Staying Present with Yourself

Not too long I was able to watch my daughter's field day at school. There were many events, but the main event, the one the students all look forward to, and all participate in...the Tug of War. You know how it goes. Both sides start pulling early, both side grunt, scream, and battle to get the center flag across to their side. Some kids fall and get pulled by the others. Some dig in. One side wins the other loses. The winning team typically works better together pulling, locking in, digging in, and dragging the other team until the losing side eventually lets go of the rope and the winning side falls backwards. Its a great event to watch... maybe adults need more competitions like this!

I love the visual of this with mental health....

By late January, something predictable happens. The energy of new beginnings fades. Motivation dips. Self-criticism gets louder. Many people start to feel behind—behind on goals, behind on habits, behind on the version of themselves they hoped to be by now.

This is often the moment when people mentally and emotionally pull away from themselves and let go of their goals for the year. Like in the Tug of War they just can't hold on any longer to trying to make their goals happen. They've been dragged by the failed attempts long enough and since they just can't make it happen, they give up and concede defeat and plan to set a new goal later in the year or even the next.

The problem; we disconnect when we struggle. We judge ourselves when we feel tired. We assume that discomfort means something is wrong with us. Over time, this creates an internal pattern: I’m okay when I’m doing well, but I withdraw when I’m not.

Mental health work often begins by interrupting that pattern. One of the most stabilizing skills a person can learn is remaining present instead of abandoning themselves under stress. This means staying emotionally engaged when shame, fear, or self-doubt show up—rather than spiraling into avoidance or harsh self-judgment.

Many people believe that growth comes from pressure. In reality, growth comes from safety. When the nervous system feels secure, it can adapt, reflect, and change. When it feels threatened—even by our own inner voice—it shifts into protection mode. This is why so many people struggle with consistency. The moment they miss a goal, make a mistake, or feel overwhelmed, their inner environment becomes hostile. Motivation collapses not because they lack discipline, but because their system no longer feels safe to try. But it doesn't have to...some have figured it out and overcome the challenges and accomplish their goals.

Remaining—mentally and emotionally—changes that.

Staying present when you succeed is easy. Staying present when you struggle is where resilience forms. When you don’t immediately retreat into shame, you give yourself space to learn instead of punish.

This week, pay attention to the moments when you want to pull away from yourself.

Notice when comparison shows up. Notice when fear predicts failure. Notice when self-talk becomes sharp or absolute. Instead of fixing or judging, practice staying.

You don’t need to feel confident. You don’t need clarity. You don’t need a perfect plan.

You just need to remain present.

Mental health doesn’t improve because life gets easier. Just like the winning team in Tug of War doesn't win because it got easier; they just pulled harder for longer. It improves because you become steadier—less reactive, more grounded, and more willing to stay with yourself through discomfort.

That steadiness is where change quietly begins.

As January comes to a close, consider this your reset—not toward perfection, but towards presence. Don't give up on your goals....your just getting started!